SHE.HER.

Thursday, October 30

how do u feel when someone u respect or admire..
abuse their authority to overpower u?
frustrated rite?

doesnt mean i respect them..
tat means they hav de right to control me lorx..
okie.. u can tell me how to do tinks..
control till a certain limit..
n mind u de limit is really hmm.. small?
i dun like de feeling to b controlled..

but i gt dis bad habit tat i seem to like to control ppl..
BUT i will change de..
i will really change..
im working on tat now.. =D

talked to sanjee abt de "abusing respect"
cos my mum sort of abuse my respect for her..
she kept saying im lousy la.. den huiyi everything gd la.. den im nth lorx..

sanjee says tat i shld b myself..
dun care wat others say..
but to b urself.. dun u nd support fr friends and family?
when u realise tat u urself has no support fr ur loved ones..
isnt tat lonely?
seems like u r de only one in de world..
no one to b dependent on..
dis is really saddening..

i really cant imagine me having no friends..
everyone is stranger..
i wont b happy anymore..
i like to b surrounded by alot of friends..
de more de merrier! =D

misunderstanding is really scary..
some random tots of mine..

oh yes oh yes!
i wan to k!
i wan to meet up wid alot of ppl!
i wan to go beach!
anyone wans to go?
i juz wan to go there n sit to let de wind blow at me.. dis will b relaxing.. i tink?

hmm.. there's so many tinks i wan to do..
but everytime after work will b super tired!
n i oso dun hav enough time.. -.-

another random tot of mine: y ppl r so easily emotionally hurt?
i tink everybody will get de emotionally hurt tink..
juz tat some of them wan to put on a brave front..
n when ppl say they r putting on a brave front nia..
they will deny.. juz cos they tell themselves tat they dun wan to show their weak side?
hmm..

im been listening to dis few songs nowadays..
love story by taylor swift..
bu. wan mei by li jiu zhe..
bie shuo by li jiu zhe..

i like de song love story..
is quite different fr de usual ones i heard?
i juz noe is different.. but nt sure is different fr wat..

i like one of de sentences in de bu. wan mei song..
is " wan mei bing bu wan mei.. dang ni ai shang le shui"
direct translation: perfect is imperfect when u love someone..
de meaning i get out of it is tat when u like dis someone..
everything tat u tink is perfect abt u seems to b imprefect after all..
or could it be cos after liking someone tat doesnt like u..
de person will say tat actually u r too perfect n nd someone else tat's more perfect than him/her..
so all de perfections seem to be all de imperfections..
even u try to make it more perfect it will still not help at all..

dis bie shuo song is talking abt a guy secretly admiring dis girl..
n when dis girl has prob wid her bf she actually went to de guy's place to find comfort..
n dis makes de guy's effort of keeping distance away fr her all futile..
bie shuo means don't say..
so in de song.. it goes..
don't say tat u still miss me..
dis will make even more lonely..
don't say tat u still love me..
dis will make me wan to get rid of all excuses to keep distance fr u..

meaningful rite?
hahas..
today i gt alot of emotions sia..
but still i will b strong n independent girl.. jiayou!!!

Thursday, October 23

i tink today i did a stunt..
hahas..

i made so many ppl worried..
1st - my mum..
apparently she made me left huiyi's number..
cos i go over her house to stay overnight..
REAL SORRY HUIYI!!

2nd - huiyi..
my mum called her when she cant get me..
so huiyi sort of lied to her tat we actually met up..
when we both r at different places..

3rd - sanjee..
after my mum called huiyi..
huiyi went to call sanjee..
dun noe y she called sanjee..
i tink she tinks tat im wid sanjee or smth..
n im nt..

4th - jam..
after huiyi called sanjee..
sanjee went to call jam..
tot tat i was wid him..
LOL!
fat hope tat i will b wid him alone..
so he wanted to go dig out samuel's number (one of my fellow interns)
apparently samuel seems to b nobody's fren..
so cant find his number..
so i remain uncontactable..

okie.. de whole story actually starts like dis..
my phone left 2 bars out of 3 b4 i went off work..
so i tot it would last me till i go hm..
but den my mum decide to call me a few times..
n i din feel de vibration..
so din pick up..

den after i realise my phone low batt le..
den switch off by itself..
so my mum decides to call huiyi den.. i tink la..
since she cant get me..
den she presumes im wid huiyi..
but i wasnt wid her at all..
i went dinner wid yingbao, jason, samuel , clara n weng onn..
fellow interns, colleagues n fren's supervisor..
den we went lunar bar..

when i reached there..
de person STR AWAY ask me for my ic..
so -.-
am i looking so young meh?
-.-
n she made me pour away little bit of water in bottle la..
as if scared i wont get drinks inside.. -.-
so malu can?
n we all gt dis chop.. den shows only under uv light..
but seems to fade away lei..

hmm.. is wed so is ladies night over there..
so there's free drinks lorx..
is lychee martini..
is so yucky can!
-.-
im so nt gg to drink tat anymore..
cos is like quite strong n bitter..
n i dun like stuffs tat r strong or bitter..
other than dark choc la..

den i was super scared tat i will b drunk lorx..
so drank only half a cup..
okie.. there's few more reasons y i drank so little..
1st is yucky..
2nd is i scared to b drunk.. though doesnt seem possible..
3rd is i will b gg hm fr int to house alone lei..
4th is on de way hm i will b wid samuel!
n i seriously hate him lorx..

hopefully he wont see my blog..
seriously i had tried my best to see de good side of him..
but today i dun tink so le..
he gt real excited after knowing tat de 2nd lv of de pub..
has girls pole-dancing n wearing v little..
he went up n watched..
den came down to attempt to bring us all up to watch..
SO OMG LA!! -.-
he told us tat look at de screen so fake de..
wan to watch den go up n see de real ones la..
den he was smiling away la!
so ewwwwwww..
den i gt disgusted out n asked to go up himself to watch..
apparently he failed to bring anyone up even de guys oso nt interested in watching la..
n i dun even noe wat's so exciting la.. -.-

tat's perhaps de worst tink tat happens in my internship..
i really dislike him alot..
he's so unglam..
ARGH!

i better go sleep so tat tmr can ignore him wid my best attitude..
hahas.. updates more soon..

Tuesday, October 7

i currently always having dis tot..
i tink i hav lesser n lesser frens le..
i tink i hav changed le..
is like i tink some of my frens start to distant away from me le..

is like when i nd a listening ear..
i really dun noe where n who to turn to..
am i getting autism?
i tink im getting it..
-.-
haix..

i start to realise tat i actually dun really bother to maintain de relationship sia..
wat's wrong wid me ar?
they msg me..
dependent on my mood if i wan to reply anot..
im such a bad fren.. i noe..
but den still my msg limit explodes everyday..
i dun noe y.. -.-

great.. i dun even noe wat im talking rite now..
i tink im starting to talk in a v boring manner le..
ppl listen to me will tend to get real bored le..
or really since last time de way i talk alr boring le?
omg..
seems like im quite a failure ar?
my EQ is dropping le..
or has it been 0 since young?

haix..
am i tat fussy?
fussy till tat i like to argue even de smallest details wid my frens..
am i tat unreasonable?
am i tat low confidence in myself?

Sunday, October 5

shit!
i tink i hav totally no life after de start of my sip..
OMG!!
cant believe dis la..

my life nowadays is like..
work sleep n tuition..
seriously alot of tuition cos my kids r having exams real soon!
haix..
worry for them..
tsk.. sound so mummy sia.. -.-

haix.. another tink is tat..
nobody seems to b free lei..
ask my frens out den they like..
aiya.. if u weekdays free den will b better la..
aiya.. sun is for me to rest de..
aiya.. i wan to slp la..
aiya.. y u say earlier? im meeting my frens le..

wat de la..
HAIX
wat's de world becoming sia..
nobody wans to go out?
-.-

i tink cos i din interact wid my frens much le..
den i get too un-normal le ba.. =X
-.-
i tink my whole post will b full of -.-..
seriously now i hav so so little to blog abt ba..
i gt no life le sia.. *sob*

oh yes..
my ear piece officially die on me..
1st de left side die..
den when i was happily taking out to listen to my mp3 on sat..
den alas! i heard nth.. den i tot my mp3 die on me..
den i checked le.. OMG! my earpiece die on me instead..
TSK TSK TSK..
it's only like a little more than 3 mths nia! -.-
it's so lousy!
HAIX
nth's right for me nowadays la..

better stop here..
if nt sure pollute my blog de..